Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
