i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
not ubering you a puppy
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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