my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Sober January is a disaster.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
