So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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