how can u be prego again
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
