I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
