is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
