if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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