she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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