I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
