That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
