Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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