im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
