Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my being single is dangerous.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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