You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
