just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you inspire me to be a worse person
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
