for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
