he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
