maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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