Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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