So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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