is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
