Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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