sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
