when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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