yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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