THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
birth control should be required to get into college
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
