all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
