walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
