so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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