Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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