repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
