i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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