last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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