My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
