playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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