woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize