i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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