sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
