Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
