I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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