There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So vagazzling was a success
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
