The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Pete Davidson Says He Uses His Father’s Death To ‘Last Longer In Bed’ With Ariana Grande
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman’s Apartment Hunt Takes A Wrong Turn When Broker Accidentally Sexts Her
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls