Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
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Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.