I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Let's paint friendship bongs
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son