i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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