3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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