You work out of a Hotel?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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