I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When are your genitals available?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
