I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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