3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
