Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
