I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
