Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
