I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
