You really coming over, don't trick.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
