I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
