I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
