just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
