It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
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And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
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I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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