There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize