I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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